multiple identities

it seems that my nocturnal wanderings have once again left me wide awake in the wee hours of the morning. it is, i concede, not the most ideal of bed-times; at the same time it is quite close to unavoidable. when one works until 1030 or 11 at night, one needs some time to release the pressures of being a three hour comedy show for surly 14 year olds.

i never thought that i would teach. for a long time it was one of the possibilities furthest from my consciousness. i must admit that the idea both frightened and repulsed me. who is a bigger cynic than a middle schooler, and what does one do when filled with and entire room of their hostility or, better put, apathy?

i suppose the realist in me never thought that i would so willingly act the fool. after just 8 days of teaching, i have begun to jump at any chance to connect to my very own rotating collection of statues. often this acting includes dancing across the room, yelling quite loudly, leaping on furniture, distorting my face, contorting my body, or doing just about anything to get people to pay attention to me. it has been an interesting experience, because i have never so distinctly sought the spotlight.

my first days of teaching have provided me with humility without egotism. i wonder how many teachers have left days spent with me and my peers craving the cool frothy taste of the beer of freedom. how many of them have struggled to lure me into the magic that is "the five regional divisions of the united states" or something equally painful, while at the same time making it seem as though they have no personal life, and, therefore, no personal problems. im not there yet, although im sure that i will be at some point in the next year. i hope to have their strength.

i guess i would like to express my sincere gratitude for any of the teachers (parents included) i have ever driven to insanity, if only for a moment. cheese, i know, but there are times i wouldnt wish this on anyone.

but there are the times i wish could last. lets go with that.