wordplay

so...i am in love with little black girls. seriously, lets break it down... negro = black; negra = black, feminine; -ita = little, feminine; negrita = little cookies that i buy and eat almost every day, aka, little black girls, and damn are they good. phrases like ´´i just ate a little black girl´´ and ´´i absolutely have to get my hands on a little black girl´´ are a part of my daily life here in chile, and, strangely enough, in spanish they have no racist or sexual connotation. this troubles me. also troubling? i once had lunch with a chilean family i didnt know. it was a volunteer program to introduce foreigners to chilean culture. i enjoyed it well enough until the mother made the comment ´´you used to never see black people in santiago, now they are everywhere!´´ aside from the obvious nationalistic righteousness of the phrase, the kicker of it was that, other than one african american student in my program from u of m, i find myself surprised to see more than 3 black people in any given week. and asian or indian people? forget it. everywhere? really? i think you might be exaggerating a bit. what chile is severly lacking is diversity.

granted, for a long time chile had more people fleeing its borders than knocking down its doors trying to get in. a dictatorship does that to you. however, it is a strange feeling to realize that we are the diversity. many people have little, if any, experience with strangers that look differently than they do. i am aware that i look like a foreigner a majority of the time, but it is more my mannerisms and american self-important attitude than my outward appearance. there exist chileans that are whiter, blonder, more freckled or european looking than i am. however, there are little, if any, african chileans.

conversations with the girl on my program have made my respect for her skyrocket. she has been taught her entire american life that she doesnt have to deal with discrimination and prejudice, and yet, for the past four months she has had no other option but to swallow it. all of us get stared at here, its the machismo thing, and yes, its annoying, but for her it is different. at times she is more of a sexual object, at times feared, lusted after, looked down upon, cursed. given the choice, ill stick with wolf whistles and obnoxious ´´que liiiiiiiinda´´ catcalls any day. i do not pretend to understand her experience. not surprisingly, given the strong and optimistic person that she is, she has adopted an amazing attitude. children, for whom it may be their first and only experience with a person of a different race, deserve kind treatment. no one will be served by creating new stereotypes. youths, who need to know better, should be taught. adults, who should know better...well, theres no protection for them.

i initially struggled with the obligation of being a representative of my country and culture. the american stereotypes of fast food and george bush are tough to combat. people dont understand that we are not a people homogeneous in our beliefs or actions, nor do many believe that life in the us is not like the movies. however difficult that may have been for me, it is nothing compared to having to represent an entire race of people, many belonging to cultures she has never seen nor experienced. i am in awe of her inner strength.

and so, while i do love negritas, i would love them more with a different name (in this case a rose by another name would smell sweeter). many chileans (not all, of course) have a long way to go in understanding and appreciating other cultures.

and dont even get me started on the chilean name for a mcdonald´s happy meal.