I am the genie of the ramp

Although most of my students have a pretty good grasp of the English language both in comprehension and pronounciation, there are certian sounds with which they have extreme difficulty. It is a matter of letters and sounds not existing in Korean in the same way that they do in English. For example, the 'z' sound does not exist. Therefore, although I am teaching "The Ear, the Eye and the Arm", it happens to be set in JIMBABWE. Also, in Korean, the 'l' and 'r' sounds are not distinguished from each other, which today created the title of this post.

I find it adorable, especially on the kids I think are pretty darn cute to begin with. For the literature class there is one student that gets so excited about Jimbabwe that I have neglected to correct him even once. My low-level class is filled with more "herro"s and "rearry?"s than the Team America movie.

Last week I was told by a non-teacher that me not helping them with their pronounciation is borderline unethical; the other teachers know that this is called getting my kicks in where I can. I'll tell them eventually. Like the last day of class. At the end.

The Gods are Smiling

What did I see today when I dragged my weary, crying, broken body through the doors for the teachers' lounge after lunch? Not one but TWO brand new positively gleaming printer/copiers installed where the mammoth beast of an old one used to be. They smell like new cars only better.

Camping

Today I hit a wall. Although figurative in nature, it was tall and thick and painful as hell, so, as walls go, I suppose it was a pretty significant one. You see, since New Year's day I have been working intensives, which means an extra class each day, bringing my in-class teaching time to nine hours per day, my required time at work to ten hours per day, and my actual time at work or preparing for it to somewhere around eleven. Any sane person could see that the wall was there, looming, in the distance. I was just hoping it would take a bit longer to catch up to me.

Since I have come to Korea I have been able to notice when I need a break from normal life and the Korean mindset. Little things start to chip away at my generally upbeat and foreign-experience loving attitude. Petty stuff becomes increasingly annoying, like how there is a separate light for north, south, east, and west-bound traffic, making each wait at a stoplight take twice as long, or how the concept of an orderly line does not exist and being cut is a daily occurrence. Usually a day at the beach or a mountain or even another city helps restore my sanity and allows me not to become a full-out fire-breathing monster where my students' cries of "Teacher, teacher!" are the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard and the thought of explaining the meaning of 'surplus' even one more time makes me positively retch.

This caged, crazed feeling has been creeping up on me over the course of the intensives period. I have been unable to escape to the hills (or anywhere) because by the time Saturday morning rolls around I am too exhausted to do more than curl into the fetal position and twitch. It's really quite ugly. Now, I know that I really don't have it that bad; I know that many people have it much worse, are working longer hours for less pay, doing something that they utterly despise. I chose to work this extra class for just one month and I know that the light at the end of the tunnel is the big overtime paycheck at the end.

Knowing this, however, did not stop me from having strangely gratifying fantasies of baseball bats and profane music a la Office Space as I was elbow-deep in the toner-stained innards of the office copy machine yet again today. I swear, the failure alert beep will haunt my dreams for years to come. (I actually heard one co-worker chant "no whammies, no whammies, no whammies" as he inserted his test, only to have it come out in 298365475 pieces twenty minutes later) I have come to loathe the face of the copy machine repair guy because I'm pretty sure that I know how to do his job better than he does. If you ever have questions about the intricate details of a Rocio 2075 I'm definitely your girl.

At any rate, today, after hearing the failure alert beep for the seventy-sixth time, after pulling reams of shredded, unusable paper from each of twenty-nine malfunctioning locations, after toiling for fourty-four minutes with no success multiplied by the six or more weeks that the machine has been tormenting us the only thing that kept me from walking straight out of that office and into my bed for a much-needed nap is the delicious internal debate raised by Office Space. Would I be the guy from the movie who actually steals the printer, or the one who has to be pried off, bare fists still flailing, only to escape his friends' well-meaning grasp to get in a few last vindictive blows? It's not a tough call, but at this point it may be the only thing that will get me through the next eight working days.

But, hey, you know what else is intense?

im no kate winslet

there were many things i wanted to get done today: belated christmas cards, prep for the week, laundry, etc; there were also many things that i wanted to update you on, yesterday's snowfall or the brutal almost-stabbing that i witnessed on friday come to mind. alas, after a morning out i returned to my apartment and changed my post-christmas wish from snow boots to a rain poncho.

my apartment, it seems, is having an identity crisis. no longer is it a haven from the out of doors, a place to rest my weary head. today, it has decided to play a starring role in a new drama to be directed by steven spielberg. the climax goes a little something like this:

"Captain, we've sprung a leak"
"A leak?"
"Aye, its more like a gusher"
"All hands on deck"

and then a little bit later

"Bail, boys, bail! did your mother teach you to to work like that, man? put your back into it!"

and later still

"Its no use, sir, shes taking on too much water, we can't keep up"
"Abandon ship! Abandon ship!"

so, guess which part my apartment has decided to play. ill give you a hint, it isn't the well-meaning yet clumsy and ultimately doomed captain, nor the sneaky, conniving first mate.

yes, my apartment is taking on water, cold frigid water. fortunately, my newfound spring is concentrated in a little room that houses my hot-water heater and a convenient little drain (at least, its a drain now). so, while the water isnt escaping into the greater part of my space, it does sort of have the effect of a rain forest. it could be soothing if i didnt know how wrong and not good it really is. that, and the fact that i have a sinking suspicion that wildly spurting water and electrical outlets are not a match made in heaven.

unfortunately, as it is sunday, there is not a whole lot of assistance around these parts. i called my boss, who called my korean boss, who in turn called me. his solution? ignore it until tomorrow. im thinking this is a great idea, as by that time I'll be able to ice skate to work right from my bed, shaving 30 seconds off my daily commute of 2 minutes.

the maintenence guy came and tinkered around with it for about an hour, but he had little success beyond what i had already done, which was to stop all water in my apartment all together. somehow, though, he did have surprising helpfulness with the temperature of the place. yes, he managed to make the apartment about 12 degrees colder than when he started working. go team!

so, for the next few days (because of course its about to be a holiday) ill be without water, and as a direct result, heat. its pretty comical, actually. happy new year everyone.

do you have a fish wish?

here are selected pictures from my Japan trip last week. I was in both Fukuoka and Hiroshima over four days.

giesha at the train station for some reason. i think they were promoting or selling something, but i dont speak japanese, so i have no idea.

temple shrine in fukuoka.

temple gate in fukuoka

wishes of the new year hung at at temple in fukuoka

blessed water for drinking at a temple in fukuoka

inside of a restaurant in fukuoka. as i have no japanese skills and they had no pictures, it was quite difficult, but wound up being delicious.

remnants of a-bomb dome, one of the few structures that hiroshima has left standing as a reminder of the horrors of the nuclear attacks. today it is a symbol of peace. the city has returned surrounding this structure.


a-bomb dome from a bridge. they say that after the bombing this river was flooded with bodies of people trying to escape the intense heat and fires. i could get into the details of the horrors that i learned during my trip there, could get into the profound fog that i picked up while i wandered among monuments to the dead in their peace park, could elaborate on how dirty i felt to be an american in that city, but there is really no way to convey any of this.