a card-carrying member

i had always imagined my vocal cords to look like guitar strings, five or six slender strands waiting glamorously to be vibrated whenever i so pleased. i was under the assumption that my sound-emitting organs reminiscent of an elegant musical instrument. so you can only imagine my surprise today when i was confronted, for the first time, by two moldy strips of uncooked bacon fat and told that these, in fact, were the source of every word i had ever uttered. let me tell you, they were far more "jaws" than bon jovi and, in my case, covered in mold. in my opinion, it was a more lichen-esque colony than the more common furry variety (see this post if you doubt my authority on such growths), but the doctor disagreed.

"teachers' nodules" he declared. common among those who strain their voices due to prolonged use, they would not kill me. they also, however, could not be cured. alas, it seems that the only way to rid myself of them is to quit speaking. i looked that doctor square in the face and laughed at him. me deigning to speak is about as likely as me giving up chocolate. dont my gills know that this is WEEK 1 OF A NEW TERM!? dont they know that i have to speak for the better part of ALL three hours of each class this week? how could my body betray me like this? and then i thought about it and realized that yes, my vocal cords probably did realize this, and now they are getting together to giggle with my esophagus, windpipe, and little dangly thing. but silently. bastards.

in all honesty, my trip to daejeon's dunsan-dong emergency medical center was more of a last-ditch attempt to prevent my voice from abandoning me for the second time in as many months. it was saturday when i began to feel the fist of doom closing around my throat and my typically melodic (sic) tone took on a froggy quality.

while i expected the trip to be an exercise in futility, i must say that i was quite impressed with the care that i received. i have heard from many that it can sometimes be a large hassle here, complete with long waits and frustrating communication. i only spent an hour and a half at the hospital, which is impressive in the states even when you have an appointment. furthermore, i had an english interpreter within 20 minutes of my arrival who assessed me and passed me off to an rn from the international travel division. this rn escorted me through the rest of my process, which included a trip to an ent specialist, the one who inserted the camera into my throat and revealed to me the horrific reality of my vocal cords. they even gave me my own identification card. now, whenever i go to the hospital, i have a file with information which is directly tied to my card. i also got and paid for a follow-up appointment in two weeks to check my nodules (its such a disgusting word, no? especially now that you know that they look like lichen-mold growing on uncooked bacon fat. you're welcome.)

i think that is pretty impressive for an hour and a half. the best part? even though i dont yet have my insurance card (another story) the whole thing--special nurse attention, ent doctor, id card, and 2 appointments--cost me $35.